When Eminem released his 6th album Relapse back in 2009, the hip-hop world was in excitement as Eminem started rapping again. It was well anticipated to hear Em' rap after a long hiatus. I kept on listening to Eminem songs from his old albums that I didn't notice that he hasn't made a song ever for quite some time. Everyone anticipated the album and once it was released, it sold a million records after a few weeks and even won two Grammy and other awards. It didn't had the feel of his old albums but every Eminem album is well-made so as I fan I can't really complain. A few months and Eminem released a new single for his Recovery album entitled Not Afraid. Everyone knows that is a dope song, full of emotion and inspiration. But one line really caught my attention when Em spit out "In fact, let's be honest/ That last Relapse CD was 'ehh'/ Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground/ Relax, I ain't going back to that now". Despite the success that Relapse got, Eminem himself felt that it wasn't really that much good. I researched about it and I found out that for Mr. Mathers, the Relapse CD was just a bunch of rap records. At that time, I realized that even if you get to release or produce something, it may not satisfy you in the end.
Same way I felt when my Thanksgiving Party ended.
A few weeks ago, the results of the July 2011 Nursing Board Exam came out. Thank God, I was finally in the list of passers. At that time, I just want to celebrate and have fun. A couple of drinks with friends, maybe a small dinner with the family, but to be honest, having a Thanksgiving Party was out of the question. I just passed. Sure, I only attended final coaching, but it was already my 2nd take. And to be frank, I just hit the passing mark. I was proud of myself, but not impressed. I felt that I didn't do anything that much, it was all God's will. But of course, I was being selfish and I wasn't thinking that my victory meant more to others than to myself. I already promised to some of my friends that I will have a party and to just wait for my call or text. It took a while for me to set-up a date, but I finally got to set it up for a September 3 date. I only had a week to prepare for it but it was enough in every sense. But of course, like Eminem, I am a bit of a perfectionist as well. It felt like I wanted to make the greatest-party-of-the-year. Of course I know I can't but I wanted to have an awesome party, in the terms I have promised to my friends, to be "barbaric". In retrospective, not all my friends pulled-off a thanksgiving party, so there was no need to pressure myself. But sometimes you just want to go things the right way, it sometimes end up short of your expectations.
I want to be clear, I enjoyed my party. I'm happy I pulled it off. It just that I felt that I could have done something better. Just like Eminem, looking back at his Relapse CD, it was just some rap record for him. For me, it was just some party. People had something to eat, had something to eat, but I don't think they have something to talk about after. I felt that I set a high expectation to my guest that I failed them. Most importantly, I failed myself. I just want to have a bombastic party that I was full of myself. I was kidding myself and I felt that I ran that party to the ground. I know my friends enjoyed it, my family had a good time, but I can just feel that in their minds, I know they have a couple of "Noel could have done better if he...". It took me the entire weekend to think about what I missed and what I could have done better, and here are the three things that I wished I could have fixed:
1. Budget - There have been a lot of parties held in our house. Not once did I ever have to share some money. I've been the crew person, the dishwasher, the maintenance boy, but never did I sponsored money, not even to my previous birthday parties. So I only have a small idea how much a party will cost. And the fact that I am already employed, I am obliged to take responsibility of the expenses for my birthday. To be honest, when it comes to money, I'm sometimes a Scrooge. I don't really want to give money that much. As much as possible, I like to spend less. But of course, I know I have to shed some money if I want my party to be a "parteh". I did take out half of my remaining money. It was already enough, but when I look back at the party, I wished I took out a little bit more cash. It would have meant more food, more drinks, and more drinks. I promised a barbaric party and as much as the food and drinks was enough, enough simply isn't barbaric. Well, despite my Tito and his friends took some food and some drinks, something unforeseen, I felt that I still didn't had the "barbaric"budget to have a shitload of drinks. It's better to have more than to have less. The feeling that the you can't consume all drinks is quite convincing that you had a much wicked party compared to going home dry as a camel in the desert.
2. Preparation - I can't really complain on this one that much. My parents were already able to budget the foods they needed to prepare and the drinks that they needed to buy. I had a long stern discussion with my mom with this because I wanted to invite everyone of my classmates and friends in college but at the same time I was hoping not all can come. I will need a hotel if I that is the case. I just know not all will come and no one really cares about me that much but anything could really happen. That's why I wanted to plan the party scientifically by zeroing-out any possible mishaps. I wanted to have Plan B, C or maybe even a D. I ain't no scientist but at the time, I felt my party would be without that much mishaps. Turns out, it went well, but not without any miscalculations. My mother wanted to start at 6PM as some of my relatives were already there but I informed my friends it would start at 7PM. I know they will be late but at least the party will start at 7. It's a good thing my friend and his girlfriend arrived early so at least I had guest friends already when we started. Slowly my friends were coming but the problem is, my Lechon (roasted pig) was already half-consumed. Other viands were fine but the main course was already gone and majority of my friends haven't arrive yet. Luckily it was enough but just to be on the safe side, I asked my sister to buy extra roasted chicken in case the food may not be enough. On the drinks side, when the session began, it was great as I have a huge icebox of beers in it. But after an unforeseen circumstances, I need to go to the nearest Convenience Store to buy more drinks. If you notice the trend here, I had to but extra food and drinks just so I won't run the party dry. It was just a small mishap but something I wished didn't happen if I only planned it well. And also, I took the responsbility of crown control that I seem to have stressed out myself taking care of everything. Even host have assistants too, I ran the show by myself.
3. Documentation - I guess the main part or the main reason why I felt my party sucked was that it lacked "documentation" or it lacked pictures. I keep bashing my sister for borrowing my camera on her school events and just taking few pictures that I hate myself for only taking few pictures in my own party. My camera ain't no DSLR, but it is one cool camera, top of the line digicam of today. So when I woke up Sunday morning to look at the pics, I just felt that I didn't had enough memories to post in Facebook. I could have taken more pictures of my family and friends. I could have taken pictures with each of my guests. I could have created lots of creativity in my pictures that night that I don't know what happened as the camera spend most of its time inside my pocket. I asked a friend about this and for her the only thing that lacked in my party was really pictures. By the look of my album, the people didn't have that much to talk about since there weren't that much evidences there. Damn I sometimes hate myself for owning a camera. I was used to have someone take my pictures, not me taking pictures. Ugh, it disappoints me big time.
Woooo. There. Sometimes it takes a critic to really teach you a lesson. And I'm a huge critic of myself. I criticize myself for not having a better party. By in any standards, I had a decent party. But I raised the expectations a little bit that when it was all said and done, I wasn't really satisfied. But just like Em' on his line, "Relax, I ain't going back to that now", I ain't going back on this one anymore. It happened. Sure, I wasn't completely satisfied, but I'm happy I pulled it off. I did something that others didn't even bother to do anymore. I could wished a lot of things to change, but it is what it is. For everyone that came, I am thankful that you were there present to celebrate my thanksgiving of becoming a registered nurse. Sometimes you just have to ignore the "What ifs" and be glad to "What happened". At the end of the day, people got something to eat, had something to drink and most importantly had a good time. Couldn't say they really really had a great time, but hey, would they stay up in the morning if they didn't? Hmm, a guy like me is already thankful of that even if it wasn't the greatest-party-of-the-year, it was still a party nevertheless. I'll try to make it up and be barbaric on Christmas.
Same way I felt when my Thanksgiving Party ended.
A few weeks ago, the results of the July 2011 Nursing Board Exam came out. Thank God, I was finally in the list of passers. At that time, I just want to celebrate and have fun. A couple of drinks with friends, maybe a small dinner with the family, but to be honest, having a Thanksgiving Party was out of the question. I just passed. Sure, I only attended final coaching, but it was already my 2nd take. And to be frank, I just hit the passing mark. I was proud of myself, but not impressed. I felt that I didn't do anything that much, it was all God's will. But of course, I was being selfish and I wasn't thinking that my victory meant more to others than to myself. I already promised to some of my friends that I will have a party and to just wait for my call or text. It took a while for me to set-up a date, but I finally got to set it up for a September 3 date. I only had a week to prepare for it but it was enough in every sense. But of course, like Eminem, I am a bit of a perfectionist as well. It felt like I wanted to make the greatest-party-of-the-year. Of course I know I can't but I wanted to have an awesome party, in the terms I have promised to my friends, to be "barbaric". In retrospective, not all my friends pulled-off a thanksgiving party, so there was no need to pressure myself. But sometimes you just want to go things the right way, it sometimes end up short of your expectations.
I want to be clear, I enjoyed my party. I'm happy I pulled it off. It just that I felt that I could have done something better. Just like Eminem, looking back at his Relapse CD, it was just some rap record for him. For me, it was just some party. People had something to eat, had something to eat, but I don't think they have something to talk about after. I felt that I set a high expectation to my guest that I failed them. Most importantly, I failed myself. I just want to have a bombastic party that I was full of myself. I was kidding myself and I felt that I ran that party to the ground. I know my friends enjoyed it, my family had a good time, but I can just feel that in their minds, I know they have a couple of "Noel could have done better if he...". It took me the entire weekend to think about what I missed and what I could have done better, and here are the three things that I wished I could have fixed:
1. Budget - There have been a lot of parties held in our house. Not once did I ever have to share some money. I've been the crew person, the dishwasher, the maintenance boy, but never did I sponsored money, not even to my previous birthday parties. So I only have a small idea how much a party will cost. And the fact that I am already employed, I am obliged to take responsibility of the expenses for my birthday. To be honest, when it comes to money, I'm sometimes a Scrooge. I don't really want to give money that much. As much as possible, I like to spend less. But of course, I know I have to shed some money if I want my party to be a "parteh". I did take out half of my remaining money. It was already enough, but when I look back at the party, I wished I took out a little bit more cash. It would have meant more food, more drinks, and more drinks. I promised a barbaric party and as much as the food and drinks was enough, enough simply isn't barbaric. Well, despite my Tito and his friends took some food and some drinks, something unforeseen, I felt that I still didn't had the "barbaric"budget to have a shitload of drinks. It's better to have more than to have less. The feeling that the you can't consume all drinks is quite convincing that you had a much wicked party compared to going home dry as a camel in the desert.
2. Preparation - I can't really complain on this one that much. My parents were already able to budget the foods they needed to prepare and the drinks that they needed to buy. I had a long stern discussion with my mom with this because I wanted to invite everyone of my classmates and friends in college but at the same time I was hoping not all can come. I will need a hotel if I that is the case. I just know not all will come and no one really cares about me that much but anything could really happen. That's why I wanted to plan the party scientifically by zeroing-out any possible mishaps. I wanted to have Plan B, C or maybe even a D. I ain't no scientist but at the time, I felt my party would be without that much mishaps. Turns out, it went well, but not without any miscalculations. My mother wanted to start at 6PM as some of my relatives were already there but I informed my friends it would start at 7PM. I know they will be late but at least the party will start at 7. It's a good thing my friend and his girlfriend arrived early so at least I had guest friends already when we started. Slowly my friends were coming but the problem is, my Lechon (roasted pig) was already half-consumed. Other viands were fine but the main course was already gone and majority of my friends haven't arrive yet. Luckily it was enough but just to be on the safe side, I asked my sister to buy extra roasted chicken in case the food may not be enough. On the drinks side, when the session began, it was great as I have a huge icebox of beers in it. But after an unforeseen circumstances, I need to go to the nearest Convenience Store to buy more drinks. If you notice the trend here, I had to but extra food and drinks just so I won't run the party dry. It was just a small mishap but something I wished didn't happen if I only planned it well. And also, I took the responsbility of crown control that I seem to have stressed out myself taking care of everything. Even host have assistants too, I ran the show by myself.
3. Documentation - I guess the main part or the main reason why I felt my party sucked was that it lacked "documentation" or it lacked pictures. I keep bashing my sister for borrowing my camera on her school events and just taking few pictures that I hate myself for only taking few pictures in my own party. My camera ain't no DSLR, but it is one cool camera, top of the line digicam of today. So when I woke up Sunday morning to look at the pics, I just felt that I didn't had enough memories to post in Facebook. I could have taken more pictures of my family and friends. I could have taken pictures with each of my guests. I could have created lots of creativity in my pictures that night that I don't know what happened as the camera spend most of its time inside my pocket. I asked a friend about this and for her the only thing that lacked in my party was really pictures. By the look of my album, the people didn't have that much to talk about since there weren't that much evidences there. Damn I sometimes hate myself for owning a camera. I was used to have someone take my pictures, not me taking pictures. Ugh, it disappoints me big time.
Woooo. There. Sometimes it takes a critic to really teach you a lesson. And I'm a huge critic of myself. I criticize myself for not having a better party. By in any standards, I had a decent party. But I raised the expectations a little bit that when it was all said and done, I wasn't really satisfied. But just like Em' on his line, "Relax, I ain't going back to that now", I ain't going back on this one anymore. It happened. Sure, I wasn't completely satisfied, but I'm happy I pulled it off. I did something that others didn't even bother to do anymore. I could wished a lot of things to change, but it is what it is. For everyone that came, I am thankful that you were there present to celebrate my thanksgiving of becoming a registered nurse. Sometimes you just have to ignore the "What ifs" and be glad to "What happened". At the end of the day, people got something to eat, had something to drink and most importantly had a good time. Couldn't say they really really had a great time, but hey, would they stay up in the morning if they didn't? Hmm, a guy like me is already thankful of that even if it wasn't the greatest-party-of-the-year, it was still a party nevertheless. I'll try to make it up and be barbaric on Christmas.
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