All I ever wanted was to say I was sorry. All I ever wanted was her to accept my forgiveness. All I ever wanted was for her to forgive me. All I ever wanted was just for both of us to forget about it and just go on with our lives. But sometimes, you can never always get what you want. If you aren't destined to get it in a million years, you'll never get it in a million years, never.
I finally drew the last line between the ongoing sort-of-feud I had with my friend. Last week, I finally had the balls to say all I ever wanted to say. No more short apologies, no more cheap shot friendship quotes to post in Facebook, no more. I sent her a very long message in Facebook, it needs to end. The next day, I saw her status stating that someone had sent her a very long pm. I knew it was me. It was sort of disappointing to know that she looks forward for a "lil talk". Just a little talk for a very long message of mine? She's only going to have a short thing to say. I knew it wasn't going to go well as I thought it would, but I had to hope for the best anyways.
As I was camping again at Facebook, looking for anything fun, I found her online. My hands were itching, I needed to do it. I clicked her name and started to communicate with her. It was kind of nerve cracking waiting if she would reply. She did, and oh boy was it a very interesting one.
..........."i should have prevented this to happen"......"if only we were just plain classmates"......"everything is all good now...."....."......but not the way it was before"......
We did end up having a pretty lengthy conversation I might say. But it ended not in the note I was hoping for. Yeah, we had a great talk, smoke seemed to have been cleared, but the inevitable just happened. The friendship we had between one another was already scarred. She did forgive me, but she can't give me the friendship that we used to have. I didn't understand why. The last thing I did was overly reacted to a thing she did to me. It was a petty fight my friends said, but how could she ever decide to just not let things be the way they were. She regretted that it had to go up to this point. If we could have just been ordinary classmates. If she only didn't trust me. If we just didn't have that friendship that we had. I was confused, and yet, I understood why she said those stuff.
In the end, the sort-of-feud that we have ended. But at the same time, our great friendship was also included. Changes, these are the changes in life that will eventually come. Changes that we will hate, but we must need to accept. Man my life is just so fucked up right now. I thought losing a friend would suck, but having a friend back but not the same as before sucked even more. The more I think about it, the more I lose my sense of living in this world. I'm no suicidal or anything, but God, I just want all of it to stop. But life must go on and on and on no matter how miserable it is. I'll never forget the great times that we had, the moments we shared with one another, the great friendship, no, relationship that we had. Deep inside, I just know that there is no reason that it must end, but its her call. At least, bygones are bygones, but for the record, so was our great friendship, bygone, gone probably forever, forever concluded.
I finally drew the last line between the ongoing sort-of-feud I had with my friend. Last week, I finally had the balls to say all I ever wanted to say. No more short apologies, no more cheap shot friendship quotes to post in Facebook, no more. I sent her a very long message in Facebook, it needs to end. The next day, I saw her status stating that someone had sent her a very long pm. I knew it was me. It was sort of disappointing to know that she looks forward for a "lil talk". Just a little talk for a very long message of mine? She's only going to have a short thing to say. I knew it wasn't going to go well as I thought it would, but I had to hope for the best anyways.
As I was camping again at Facebook, looking for anything fun, I found her online. My hands were itching, I needed to do it. I clicked her name and started to communicate with her. It was kind of nerve cracking waiting if she would reply. She did, and oh boy was it a very interesting one.
..........."i should have prevented this to happen"......"if only we were just plain classmates"......"everything is all good now...."....."......but not the way it was before"......
We did end up having a pretty lengthy conversation I might say. But it ended not in the note I was hoping for. Yeah, we had a great talk, smoke seemed to have been cleared, but the inevitable just happened. The friendship we had between one another was already scarred. She did forgive me, but she can't give me the friendship that we used to have. I didn't understand why. The last thing I did was overly reacted to a thing she did to me. It was a petty fight my friends said, but how could she ever decide to just not let things be the way they were. She regretted that it had to go up to this point. If we could have just been ordinary classmates. If she only didn't trust me. If we just didn't have that friendship that we had. I was confused, and yet, I understood why she said those stuff.
In the end, the sort-of-feud that we have ended. But at the same time, our great friendship was also included. Changes, these are the changes in life that will eventually come. Changes that we will hate, but we must need to accept. Man my life is just so fucked up right now. I thought losing a friend would suck, but having a friend back but not the same as before sucked even more. The more I think about it, the more I lose my sense of living in this world. I'm no suicidal or anything, but God, I just want all of it to stop. But life must go on and on and on no matter how miserable it is. I'll never forget the great times that we had, the moments we shared with one another, the great friendship, no, relationship that we had. Deep inside, I just know that there is no reason that it must end, but its her call. At least, bygones are bygones, but for the record, so was our great friendship, bygone, gone probably forever, forever concluded.
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