July 16, 2010.
I though it was the day.
One month then, still, it's a day to remember.
Time seemed to have passed by so fast, a month already has past. It was like it was only yesterday, the two of us sitting on the Roxas bench at school, finally having the talk I've always wanted to have with her. That was it, pressure was on, I had once chance. The moment went on and on and on, and swoosh, it became the day that I would forever remember in my mind. Forever I would be reminded. That on that day, my love for the 3rd time, failed the 3rd time. On that day, the girl I loved the most, rejected me.
It was just like any ordinary Friday. Any kind of day actually. I woke up knowing I still have a lot of paper works to do. Of course, I also knew that we would see each other. We planned to do things with each other that day. Following-up our exhibit forms, it was going to be a great day. But deep inside, I was already getting anxious. I asked her a few weeks past if we could talk, just the two of us. I needed to tell her already, I needed to make things the way I wanted them to be. It was already long due. It was time I propose to her to be my girlfriend.
We planned to start our day by seeing each other in CHDC. We had to have our exhibit forms there signed by the Chief Nurse. I arrive there a little bit early, but I didn't mind waiting for her. What was new? Anyways, she arrived, looking hot with her green t-shirt. And coincidentally, I was wearing the same color of shirt. Deep inside, I had a feeling that that was the day. So we did what we needed to do, and then off we went to school to do other more stuff regarding our forms. It was quite a busy morning, but we managed to accomplished a lot of stuff. But sadly, we still needed to go back in the afternoon. Lunch was approaching fast, and we decided to go home for lunch and see each other again in the afternoon.
We walked together up to Roxas gate, her brother was fetching her. I decided to stay and wait until her brother fetches her. While standing, I couldn't help but remind her of the talk we were suppose to have. For so many times, our planned talk was spoiled with some unseen circumstances. That was the day, there was no way it could be spoiled, so I reminded her. She joked that we shouldn't talk, and then she quickly insisted that we just talk while waiting for her brother to arrive. I didn't expected that, I got pressured all of a sudden. What if I can't say all I want to say? What if I mumbled all my words? All I know is, that was it. The moment I have been waiting for. Sitting on the bench, I started to open my mouth. She listened and kept on smiling. After I talked, she then proceeded to say the words that have seemed to have pierced in my mind forever, "Basta wag lng lagi". My world suddenly stopped spinning. Everything became a blur, everything.....
Fast forward up to this day, here I am, celebrating a monthsarry that is just too painful to bear. To sum everything all that happened within the month, I got depressed, cried, world turned upside down, got hurt so much, and that's it. Its too much to story anymore. I just know that I'll never be okay. The feeling to have your heart shattered into pieces, it's painful to have this empty feeling inside. I should just keep everything bottled up, it won't make me feel better to write down every drama that occurred for the past month. All I know is, a month ago, it would have been the greatest moment of my life. Yes, its Bargaining in depression if I hoped it would have turned the other way around, but I am on Acceptance now. There is nothing more I can do. Nevertheless, this day would forever be part of my life, July 16, 2010, the girl I have truly loved the most, rejected me, one month ago.....
I though it was the day.
One month then, still, it's a day to remember.
Time seemed to have passed by so fast, a month already has past. It was like it was only yesterday, the two of us sitting on the Roxas bench at school, finally having the talk I've always wanted to have with her. That was it, pressure was on, I had once chance. The moment went on and on and on, and swoosh, it became the day that I would forever remember in my mind. Forever I would be reminded. That on that day, my love for the 3rd time, failed the 3rd time. On that day, the girl I loved the most, rejected me.
It was just like any ordinary Friday. Any kind of day actually. I woke up knowing I still have a lot of paper works to do. Of course, I also knew that we would see each other. We planned to do things with each other that day. Following-up our exhibit forms, it was going to be a great day. But deep inside, I was already getting anxious. I asked her a few weeks past if we could talk, just the two of us. I needed to tell her already, I needed to make things the way I wanted them to be. It was already long due. It was time I propose to her to be my girlfriend.
We planned to start our day by seeing each other in CHDC. We had to have our exhibit forms there signed by the Chief Nurse. I arrive there a little bit early, but I didn't mind waiting for her. What was new? Anyways, she arrived, looking hot with her green t-shirt. And coincidentally, I was wearing the same color of shirt. Deep inside, I had a feeling that that was the day. So we did what we needed to do, and then off we went to school to do other more stuff regarding our forms. It was quite a busy morning, but we managed to accomplished a lot of stuff. But sadly, we still needed to go back in the afternoon. Lunch was approaching fast, and we decided to go home for lunch and see each other again in the afternoon.
We walked together up to Roxas gate, her brother was fetching her. I decided to stay and wait until her brother fetches her. While standing, I couldn't help but remind her of the talk we were suppose to have. For so many times, our planned talk was spoiled with some unseen circumstances. That was the day, there was no way it could be spoiled, so I reminded her. She joked that we shouldn't talk, and then she quickly insisted that we just talk while waiting for her brother to arrive. I didn't expected that, I got pressured all of a sudden. What if I can't say all I want to say? What if I mumbled all my words? All I know is, that was it. The moment I have been waiting for. Sitting on the bench, I started to open my mouth. She listened and kept on smiling. After I talked, she then proceeded to say the words that have seemed to have pierced in my mind forever, "Basta wag lng lagi". My world suddenly stopped spinning. Everything became a blur, everything.....
Fast forward up to this day, here I am, celebrating a monthsarry that is just too painful to bear. To sum everything all that happened within the month, I got depressed, cried, world turned upside down, got hurt so much, and that's it. Its too much to story anymore. I just know that I'll never be okay. The feeling to have your heart shattered into pieces, it's painful to have this empty feeling inside. I should just keep everything bottled up, it won't make me feel better to write down every drama that occurred for the past month. All I know is, a month ago, it would have been the greatest moment of my life. Yes, its Bargaining in depression if I hoped it would have turned the other way around, but I am on Acceptance now. There is nothing more I can do. Nevertheless, this day would forever be part of my life, July 16, 2010, the girl I have truly loved the most, rejected me, one month ago.....
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